Love Never Ends
“The only guaranteed protection against the torment of grief is to never love another individual, and those who make this choice walk down a silent road on their way to nowhere. “ -C.R.H.
What a joy it is to suddenly remember that no matter how many challenges we face in life, we can take comfort in knowing that at birth we were given the greatest gift of all - the gift of love. When we love deeply or are loved by others we receive the highest blessing of life - a blessing more precious than all of our accomplishments or riches, a blessing that will carry us through hard times as well as happy. Sometimes love is such a routine part of our life that we forget it is there, just like the oxygen we breathe. We forget to give thanks for the unique opportunity we have to love those whom we are closest to. There are times when we fail to tell them or show them how much they mean to us, as if they are a glorious sunrise, but one we’ve seen countless times before. Despite our ingratitude, the steadfast loyalty of love keeps us tightly bound to our family and friends.
A treasure made of silver or gold will tarnish over time if not kept polished. Does love suffer the same fate? To answer this, let me tell you about my cousin Shelley and the impact she had on her family and friends. After living a life filled with determination to conquer the challenges to her health, after celebrating all the world has to offer, after revealing to us what it truly means to love, her time on earth came to an end. We who loved her now mourn her, our hearts now emptied of assurance and hope. How do those who loved Shelley find solace in her passing?
Generations of great thinkers have wrestled with these questions, and if the answers have been found they don’t make Shelley’s death any easier to accept. It takes no effort for grief to tear us apart, yet to truly enjoy the comfort of love requires hard work. If we accept this challenge we will soon realize that love is more powerful than sorrow. Love destroys sorrow, and I pray that we all remember this as we grieve for Shelley. Let none of us deny love’s ability to heal our hearts; instead, just as a new forest will grow from the ashes of a devastating fire, let our hearts grow once again.
While mourning for Shelley last weekend I had a dream that I would like to share with you. I dreamt that I, too, was finished with my work here on earth and stood wide-eyed before the entrance to heaven. The Lord greeted me and said that before I could enter I had to show Him all the treasures I accumulated during my life.
“Lord,” I said, “I respect your opinion, but as you can see I’m standing here as naked as a jaybird. How was I supposed to bring the stuff with me?”
The Lord said, “My child, you did bring your treasures with you. Look inside your heart.”
I closed my eyes and suddenly realized that within me were all the memories of those I had loved during my life. One by one they shot out of me like a rainbow of color and swirled across the skies, dancing before the Lord. He and I marveled over my precious possessions when suddenly a giant burst of joy exploded from me that nearly knocked the angels down, illuminating all of Heaven. The Lord looked at me and said with a smile, “Now which treasure was that, my son?”
I replied, “Oh, that was my cousin Shelley.”
Wow.
Comment by Suzi — May 5, 2006 @ 4:34 am
Peace be with you, C.O.–thank you for this.
Comment by Maria — May 5, 2006 @ 5:15 am
TQVM C.O. its so touching N meaningful.yes, we humans tend to take alot of things for granted. Thanks for waking all of us up.
Comment by soon-Malaysia — May 5, 2006 @ 9:58 am
Thank you so much for that. My husband died six weeks ago after a long time with heart failure. Life got quite diffucult for both of us in this last year but his last days with pneumonia, which we did not treat, and his death when it came were very peaceful. He was at home, quite content and calm, and I was able to care for him and be with him right to the end. He was a lovely man who loved me deeply. In these last weeks since he died I have somtimes felt that I am not mourning him enough - that I am not totrally overcoem by grief -as if my ability to get on suggests some lacking in my loving of him. As I write this I have to stop typing so I know I am hitting on some emotional truth. I think what your posting has done is to remind me that the knowledge of his love or our love is what is sustaining me as I try to find a way in which i can live a life when he is not physically here. So thank you
Comment by mary p — May 5, 2006 @ 10:49 am
Beautiful O.C.
Your tender humaness, is what makes you the fine man and Dr you are. I am sorry for your loss of Shelia, someday you will see her again, and dance.
Comment by cheryl P — May 5, 2006 @ 11:31 am
What a great gift you have to understand this now. Double edged sword, though, isn’t it?
This is my favorite version of the popular poem about cancer. I find it appropo, although I don’t know Shelley’s illness. May she shine in peace.
What Cancer Cannot Do
Cancer is so limited…
It cannot cripple love,
It cannot shatter hope,
It cannot corrode faith,
It cannot eat away peace,
It cannot destroy confidence,
It cannot kill friendship,
It cannot shut out memories,
It cannot silence courage,
It cannot invade the soul,
It cannot reduce eternal life,
It cannot quench the spirit,
It cannot lessen the power of God.
Comment by ThirdDegreeNurse — May 6, 2006 @ 2:16 am
I’m sorry to hear about your cousins passing. I’m very glad to hear that you still have her joy within you. You and your family are in my prayers.
Comment by Emmy — May 6, 2006 @ 3:59 am
So sorry to hear of your cousin Shelleys passing. We are never really prepared. But I know that there is peace in those thoughts you shared. My father passed away in 1993, every so often he “visits” me in a dream. Usually just a normal vacation or stay over. Always seems natural to me that he’s just visiting. It has some comfort to it in that love never really dies.
Comment by Vicki — May 6, 2006 @ 4:14 pm
Comimg back I’ve realized that I missed a point. You speak of love at the beginning of life. And I do admit that most of us do aquire our share of unacceptence in our lives. But throughout our lives we also seem to find love and acceptence, even if it is only through the eyes of those who were our aquaintences. Mostly it is through those who loved us for many years such as our siblings and cousins. Your first point was the most valuable. We all seek love.
Comment by Emmy — May 7, 2006 @ 12:40 am
I’ll never see a rainbow again without thinking of Shelley and I never had the honor of knowing her……
I’m so sorry for your loss and so happy for you that she was part of your life.
Comment by Kim — May 8, 2006 @ 10:39 am
Beautiful. Godspeed Shelly. I’ve pointed this post out to many. Some, who I think will benefit greatly in your words, as they too are grieving the loss of their own loved ones who’ve passed.
Thank you!
Comment by radtec — May 9, 2006 @ 5:11 pm
That was great. That took me beyond life. I felt as if I was in heaven speaking to god. I am in a sorrow, that my boyfriend is going to marry another girl for my sake and my family sake, but I miss him a lot…
Take care… Let the lord be with you always. Peace be with Shelley
Comment by Smitha — April 18, 2007 @ 10:07 am