Perfidious Albion
Oh, to be in England
Now that April’s there,
-Robert Browning
Sometimes it just goes from bad to worse. Now there’s a new study out stating that residents of our former lord and master country are healthier than us Americans.
“Americans Lag Far Behind English in Overall Health“
Even after adjusting the results for differences in socioeconomic status, race (white people were the subject of this particular survey), obesity, smoking and alcohol consumption “a significant health disparity remained.”
Oh, why, why, why did my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather ever leave that garden of Eden, blessed Albion? How could he willingly condemn his precious heir, that man-about-town, that black-tie-and-tails bon vivant with gin-and-vermouth cologne (namely me) to such an early, cruel death?
“Overall, rates of self-reported disease were consistently and significantly highter among Americans than the English.” These diseases included diabetes, hypertension, myocardial infarction, stroke, lung disease and cancer.
Oh, is that all? Why don’t they fight fair and ask which country is afflicted with more flatulence, or halitosis, or mingy*? Or is this just another grim example of the Ugly American whining about being in second place?
Say, what about the fact that the British have free health care? It didn’t seem to matter, as even Americans in the highest income and education levels, who basically have unfettered access to care, still had a higher incidence of those naughty bete noires lurking two paragraphs above.
The researchers even measured objective signs of disease, such as C-reactive protein, in order to determine if Americans are just self-reporting more health problems than their English counterparts. Even the results from common blood tests that predict serious health problems were worse in Americans, which may explain why my uncle Louie speaks with an accent like Cary Grant.
“Future research may find one or more of the following factors to underlie the English-American health gap:”
Childhood disease (”Hey look! They put another soda machine in the lunchroom!”)
Obesity (Doctor: “So what do you like to eat, Mr. Jones? Patient [smiling]: “Everything!”)
Stress (”Oh, Lordy, when am I going to find time to put some content on this blog?”)
The author concedes that no one specific factor can explain why our health is poorer than the English - he denies the existence of a smoking gun, and believes a combination of causes is most likely.
Ladies and Gentlemen, far be it from me to possess supernatural powers of perspicacity or wisdom, but vis-a-vis this observation that Americans are sicker than Brits, could it in part be due to the fact that we Americans actually enjoy telling doctors our complaints, that we love to make our problems their problems, that unlike great-grandpa, who on the day of his heart attack drank a bicarbonate of soda and then took a nap, we modern patients like to keep our doctors up to date on every little burp we had during the week? That old saying about whosoever asks his barber whether or not he needs a haircut is certain to get one might just apply here.
Doctors are in the business of treating health problems. If we don’t have any problems then they don’t have any business and will likely be found at two o’clock in the afternoon sitting in their chair reading an old copy of Esquire. Fortunately for the docs, one can’t go longer than 60 seconds without being reminded (via every possible medium available in this country) that one just might have a health problem - and after being continuously bombarded with the possibility that one might be the victim of social phobia or a schwanz that perhaps is a little too herabhangend, can you blame Americans for their quest for perfection?
Besides, isn’t is better to be diagnosed with a disease and have it successfully treated, than to walk around perfectly healthy (according to one’s survey results), only to drop dead while on a tour of London?
Just a thought.
*mingy: as defined by my dear friend The Arkansas Cardiologist during a lively game of Balderdash in 1987. He wrote it as “hair grease left on the back of a bus headrest.” Not surprisingly, he lost by about 5000 points.
perhaps it is because in the uS you can get an appointment with your doctor within 2 weeks, and can contact a specialist without having to persuade your GP you have something first?
Verity - UK resident
Comment by verity74 — May 3, 2006 @ 12:59 pm
I think it’s interesting that of the “diabetes, hypertension, myocardial infarction, stroke, lung disease and cancer” list, many of them have a strong self-induced component. Laziness (OK, to be politically correct, a “sedentary lifestyle or employment”), overeating, smoking - all those things that we Americans enjoy so much are the very things that are killing us! I’d be curious to see what these results look like after you take out the suicide-by-Big Mac factors.
And to an extent, some of these causative factors (especially laziness and overeating) are side-effects of being a prosperous post-industrializing nation. People don’t have to work like dogs all day every day, they’re well-paid for sitting on their duffs in comfy offices, and they celebrate these conditions with a six-pack and a 16-oz burger (”Yes, we’ve upsized our burgers to a FULL POUND OF BEEF!”). We’re victims of our own success…
Comment by Bob — May 3, 2006 @ 6:04 pm
Ooops, I just re-read the beginning and saw that obesity, et al, were factored out. That makes the results just plain weird, to my eye - I mean, once you take all those factors out, you expect diabetes and many of the rest to decrease, right?
Comment by Bob — May 3, 2006 @ 6:16 pm
How about the fact that since the NIH runs the show, variation in care is considerably less in Great Britain. It’s less expensive AND better because there are standards.
Comment by elliottg — May 3, 2006 @ 11:42 pm
So, if I move to London my cancer won’t come back? (shaking my head)
Comment by Emmy — May 4, 2006 @ 1:02 am
I recently returned from doing one of my least favorite things to do, the dreaded book tour. But this time there were two interesting bumps along my literary highway. I met someone and we have fallen in love (he is a Cardiologist of all things…!) and we are planning a wedding in June—and I met someone who was dying of lung cancer. These two meetings have changed my life, but even more so for the latter will probably save my life. Why? Well, my dark little secret is I smoke…and I smoke and smoke and smoke so more. I have yet to meet a writer who didn’t have some sort of neurosis or addiction, and truth be told if one has both afflictions then one can safely assume they are a very good writer indeed. I am blessed to be hysterically frightened of chicken feet (I even dream about them!) and I am deeply in love with smoking. So there you have it, I am out of the closet.
So here I am, one hand holding a hideous clawed/chicken foot thingy and the other hand holding on for dear life to my shiny pack of Marlboro Lights.
That’s it….I am no longer going to smoke. Of course I might light up a chicken foot just to see how it tastes, probably a lot like chicken I would presume.
Always,
Saint M
Comment by SaintM — May 4, 2006 @ 8:05 am
Saint M: Congratulations on your decision to give up smoking! Please tell us all the title of your latest book. Also, best wishes on the upcoming nuptials.
Comment by The Cheerful You-Know-Who — May 4, 2006 @ 9:59 pm
well! there is no denying the fact that diet is the most causative factor in health and if there is a big difference between UK & US, then it could probably be true. we, Malaysians are also emulating the american way of chomping burgers with fizzy Coke, especially among the young generations which we have high incidences of young diabetic patients. its all a very sad thing!
Comment by soon-Malaysia — May 5, 2006 @ 10:09 am
Multiple factors are not being considered in this study. Brits drink alot more that Yanks (please note I am NOT a Yankee as I was born below the Mason Dixon line!) It is very easy to make a few block stroll to your local and have a pint. Then you have to walk back home. Thus burning a few calories. Of course then there is the added bonus of being able to walk to the grocery store - at least in the city. If I was going to have to lug home my 12 pack of Coke, 2 half gallons of Bluebell ice cream along with my fruit and veg. gotta say I would not be buying some of those heavier high calorie items. That and I have yet to have met a fridge in the UK that could hold a fraction of what is in mine right now. Obesity not considered aside - you do a lot more walking in England than I ever do during any day in the US. I lived there for a few years. It is just the actual opportunity for increased exposure to exercise of the most mundane variety, just going through your day and living it. That and their work day starts much later than the typical US workday and they get loads more vacation days. I think I am moving back.
Comment by SJ — May 5, 2006 @ 3:56 pm
I wonder, since the surveys relied on self-reporting, if Americans are more likely to report health conditions, and if the English are more reticent about this. There’s the other factor of the pressure put on Americans to be health conscious, i.e., aware of diseases, even if this doesn’t translate into better health habits. If you watch the evening news in both countries, there’s a big disparity in health reporting. This week, the ABC Evening News is running a 3 part report of the dangers of dietary suppliments. Next week, there’s a segment about the epidemic of autism. Several weeks ago, there was a 3 part series on prostate cancer (What Every Man Needs to Know!!!).
But if you watch the BBC World News on my local PBS station, there’s rarely any health reporting. It’s all news about what’s going on in the world. Not nearly as sensationalist, but a lot more informative.
On the subject of health habits: when I was in Paris 6 years ago, I noticed that the French walk a lot more, but spend many carefree hours in cafes smoking, drinking strong coffee, reading the newspaper, and talking on cell phones. They also have their share of McDonalds. While there, I caught a TV commercial touting the latest French version of the Big Mac. Theirs had FOUR beef patties, versus our three. Bon Appetit!
Comment by Anon — May 5, 2006 @ 9:56 pm
The reason people in the UK are ‘healthier’ is, I believe, for two reasons.
1. the British don’t ‘like to make a fuss and bother their doctor’ as much as Americans do and
2. British GP are trained to put off patients as much as possible. I’d say that if you have a health problem it takes several visits to GP before they actually DO anything about it, such as any testing/blood,etc….so I think people are just as sick in the UK, just not diagnosed with anything (diagnosis missed due to lack of proactiveness)
Comment by lazyandvain — May 13, 2006 @ 3:39 pm
I thank you for your comment.
Comment by Rosie — April 26, 2007 @ 8:37 pm