It’s the End of the World as We Know It, and I Feel Fine
Goodness gracious! Who are these folks who don’t seem to know if they are asleep or awake, and why do they insist upon proving it to the world by changing lanes at seventy miles an hour without signaling? Just what we need - a pack of thrill-seeking somnambulists. Go on, Mr. Science Reporter - tell us more:
“Researchers surveyed 55 people who’d had a near-death experience (NDE) and 55 who had not. For 60 percent of those who had been through an NDE, the rapid-eye movement (REM) state of sleep intrudes into their regular consciousness while awake, the study found. Only 24 percent of people who had not had an NDE report this REM intrusion.”
Oh, no…don’t tell me that after years of reverent admiration of those souls who stand at the shining gates of heaven, toothbrush in hand and are told that it was not their time then unceremoniously shuffled into the the next Earth-bound train, we now have evidence that it’s all just a fantasy of the mind!
“‘These findings suggest that REM-state intrusion contributes to near-death experiences,’ [study author Dr. Kevin] Nelson said. ‘People who have near-death experiences may have an arousal system that predisposes them to REM intrusion.’”
For the record, let’s list the sensations that those who experience an NDE enjoy. They are:
How wonderful! Who wouldn’t want to be overcome with such peaceful, easy feelings after attending yet another class reunion of the School of Hard Knocks? Unfortunately for those of us eager to get a preview of the accommodations in the afterlife, not to mention what the fee is for digital cable, this line of research may lead to a profoundly disappointing conclusion.
“‘One of the basic features of REM state is activation of the visual system,’ Nelson said. ‘REM-state intrusion could promote the prominent visual phenomena of near-death experience.’”
Well, if this is indeed the truth it makes sense to me. Some of us are just born with overactive brain stems that when stimulated by a certain level of stress hit the panic button and send us off to dreamland. I guess I can’t blame these brains for being overly protective, as long as they don’t get into the habit of flipping the switch during normal business hours, which might lead to insufferably long lines at the local Starbucks.
How discouraging to hear that an out-of-body-boogaloo may be just the product of our limbic system behaving like a toddler with a hammer left alone in a room with a sleeping cat. I wonder if scientists will ever be able to show the human brain and the paranormal converging to produce a window into a world beyond our realm. I suppose that with all the publicity surrounding this story they will undoubtedly be looking for more volunteers, and myself having experienced a horrifying near-death experience just last Saturday night, I should probably notify the researchers.
I just hope they don’t ask me to relive the incident in too much detail.
